Episode 2: Who Am I?

[00:00:00] .

[00:00:30] Was goody was goody, I'm your host J-Smoove and welcome to The Life Unexamined Is Not Worth

[00:00:42] Living.

[00:00:43] And we are on episode 2, Who Am I?

[00:00:46] Who Am I?

[00:00:47] Who Am I?

[00:00:48] And here that's right, who Am I?

[00:00:50] And I'm telling y'all right now, I'ma be in my bag today.

[00:00:54] I'm definitely gonna be in my bag on this episode because this is one of the ones

[00:00:59] this is definitely one of the ones.

[00:01:01] Now before I get started, you will confirm me on Spotify and Apple and there you will

[00:01:06] also subscribe to my podcast, follow me on IG at TheUnderScore, Life, Undescore, Unexamined,

[00:01:16] Undescore, Podcasts.

[00:01:18] And there I'll be sharing some video content of me discussing various topics that I talk

[00:01:23] about on my episodes during the week and I'll also be sharing my words of the day to keep

[00:01:27] y'all actively thinking.

[00:01:29] And please visit my website, examine our lives.com where you can find information about my podcast,

[00:01:35] information about myself, you can find information about the guests that I have on my episodes,

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[00:02:00] of course.

[00:02:01] Alright, so let's get back to business.

[00:02:05] Who am I as the million dollar question that most people don't even have an answer to?

[00:02:10] It's such a simple question but such a complex question, it's a conundrum.

[00:02:16] So before I explain the y'all why I'm determined at who you are is so paramount to your lives,

[00:02:21] I got to talk to y'all about the social experiments that I conduct when I meet new people.

[00:02:26] And my family will sit there and tell me, you know you're really sick for doing this,

[00:02:31] you know you have a problem, you always want to observe people, you always want to figure

[00:02:35] out why people are the way that they are.

[00:02:37] Yeah, yeah that's me.

[00:02:39] That's what I do.

[00:02:40] It's like oh you should have been the therapist and yeah I mean I should have did that but

[00:02:46] doing this podcast is therapy for me, it was being honest with y'all.

[00:02:50] So let's get back to his social experiment.

[00:02:52] I'm gonna give y'all real life example.

[00:02:54] So this past thing is given, I was having a conversation with someone and we were just

[00:02:58] having normal conversation and I had told her that I was working on a podcast so she

[00:03:03] said oh what's the podcast about?

[00:03:06] I said it's like a self-help, self therapy type podcast, she says okay cool.

[00:03:10] So I said alright let me actually question though.

[00:03:12] I said if I asked you who you are would you be able to answer that question.

[00:03:17] So she looks at me and she starts laughing.

[00:03:21] And I said you know I said what were you laughing at?

[00:03:23] She said like what do you ask me, like you put me on the spot right now.

[00:03:27] I said no I'm not trying to put you on the spot.

[00:03:29] I'm just asking you a question is this something that you ever thought about.

[00:03:32] So she says I mean I think that that's a loaded question like what exactly are you looking

[00:03:37] for.

[00:03:39] And I told her I said I'm not looking for anything in particular whatsoever.

[00:03:42] I just wanted to know the answer to that question.

[00:03:44] So she says I haven't really thought about it like that.

[00:03:47] I said I cool, that's valid.

[00:03:50] So I said let me let me help you out a little bit.

[00:03:52] What are your core values?

[00:03:54] What are you unwilling to compromise about yourself?

[00:03:57] So then she looks at me and she says wow yeah I've never really had anybody ask me anything

[00:04:03] like this before in my life and I said that's cool.

[00:04:07] Like I said that's fine but can you answer that?

[00:04:10] And she said well if I think about it what if my answer changes and I said yes it could

[00:04:16] change.

[00:04:17] I said yes it could change tomorrow next week next year 20 years from now.

[00:04:23] I mean that that is to the question of who I am could they could definitely change right

[00:04:27] so that doesn't matter.

[00:04:29] So she says to me I'm not really sure like I don't really know exactly what the answer

[00:04:35] to that question is I said that's fine.

[00:04:37] I said but just think about it.

[00:04:39] Just really just really think about it.

[00:04:41] So then she says well okay let me ask you that question can you answer who you are?

[00:04:46] I said I can answer that easily with a snap of finger this light work that's nothing

[00:04:51] if you ask me who I am I'm not going to sum that up in one sentence but I can give you

[00:04:56] my core values I could tell you that I'm blunt I speak my mind I don't conform to what other

[00:05:02] people believe in due to the fallacy or majority.

[00:05:05] I'm an independent thinker I'm someone who will give his old to his family who sacrifices

[00:05:11] who loves who cares who's aggressive who's rough.

[00:05:15] I'm a mixture of so many different things but how do we get that how did I get to the

[00:05:21] point where I was able to answer that question so easily.

[00:05:25] I mean we got to go back in time we got to go back in history we got to go back to

[00:05:29] how I grew up I was raised by my mom and my grandmother my dad was not in my life

[00:05:35] and that was pretty typical for you know all the people in my neighborhood not old but

[00:05:40] a lot of my friends didn't grow up they fathers on some day but wasn't anything that

[00:05:44] was out of the ordinary so I grew up with two cousins from my mother sister and her brother

[00:05:50] like their children and one of my cousins live with me and my mom's did end up getting

[00:05:55] married the marriage then last that long but I did have a stepdad and he had a great

[00:06:00] influence on me like we had a great relationship he was always good to me have no complaints

[00:06:04] about him whatsoever and we still have a good relationship to this day but when I grew

[00:06:09] up I just remember being surrounded by all of these black queens and they were so opinionated

[00:06:17] they they spoke they mine all the time they didn't care what you said they were blunt and

[00:06:24] they just kept in 100 all the time and my grandmother in particular was was rough like she

[00:06:30] was really rough with us and she was from South Carolina and you know they were raised

[00:06:36] differently so when she came to New York she brought a lot of those customs from down

[00:06:41] south over here grandma was old school she cooked she cleaned and man did she clean I mean

[00:06:48] she cleaned all the time yo no lie she used to clean all the time and she was so strict

[00:06:56] she had this thing where we weren't allowed to wear outside clothes on the bed and I still

[00:07:00] carried this to this day by the way we couldn't wear our outside clothes on the bed so if she ever

[00:07:05] saw us touching our bed touching the sheets she does seriously would just start yelling at us

[00:07:10] and say don't you touch that bed which had nasty sale got them dirty outside clothes on

[00:07:16] that bed that was my grandmother yo and she was in New York for decades and she still held

[00:07:25] on to that strong southern accent it's crazy and grandma loved us she really did but she was

[00:07:34] an affectionate with us my family was not affectionate at all we never hugged each other I'm not trying

[00:07:40] to be funny I never huged anybody in my media family like my mom's give me a kiss on the cheek

[00:07:46] and I give her a kiss on the cheek we say that we love each other but affection now there wasn't

[00:07:52] a lot of that in our household you would never mistake my family for the huxedables I'll tell

[00:07:59] you that much for real but we did have our times when we were coming together and we will have a

[00:08:06] great time we will have fun that's a fact and my family shows I love through helping one another

[00:08:12] doing things for each other always being there for each other no matter what that's how we did

[00:08:18] things but my family had this natural trait of keeping to ourselves we definitely were like

[00:08:22] loners that would come together from time to time like I said before but we were loners and

[00:08:27] getting back to my grandmother she used to always embed this in my head since I was little and she

[00:08:33] used to read the Bible all the time so when she were re-scripted to me she would always say to

[00:08:37] never take her word for it and that I needed to read and study on my own I had to learn on my own

[00:08:44] and she said it doesn't matter who it is you have to read study research on your own in the

[00:08:51] teen your own personal knowledge and I still carry that to this day I promise you and I apply that

[00:08:58] to every aspect of my life I question everything I don't take anyone's word for anything and now

[00:09:05] when I pivot over to my mom beauty personified the queen and she always communicated with me she

[00:09:11] always told to me she always asked me how I felt she asked me you know what was on my mind and I had

[00:09:17] an inquisitive mind to begin with so she didn't even have to do all that for me I was already he

[00:09:22] she don't say it I was always talking to my mother always asking her different things and always wanted

[00:09:28] to learn on my own that's the way that I that's the way that I learned you know I like doing things

[00:09:32] on my own I like failing and I like learning from my mistakes you know what I mean and she was a

[00:09:39] great mom's because she understood her child and she understood what worked for me and what didn't

[00:09:43] work for me and she was such a great listener I mean like I could just tell her anything and she

[00:09:49] would just she was just listen as she would always give her perspective but she would always tell me you

[00:09:54] know baby that's just my view you know you got to come see your own conclusions but I can give you my

[00:09:59] perspective and I always respected that about her because she was never the type of person that

[00:10:04] that told me you know what I wanted to hear or told me like oh you need to do this you need to

[00:10:09] do that I mean obviously when I was younger she did you know what I mean but I mean like when I got

[00:10:14] older when I was a teenager and I was making decisions on my own when I was becoming an adult

[00:10:19] she let me do that and she let me learn from my mistakes which I appreciate you know she told me

[00:10:25] accountability you know I'm saying my mom's really told me how to be accountable for my actions

[00:10:30] but that was a big part of which shaped me as a person you know in the beginning when I just said

[00:10:36] that I'm blunt I said that I speak my mind I'm an independent thinker you know I challenge people

[00:10:43] I question things I learn all that stuff from being around my family you know what I mean and then

[00:10:49] I turned into the person that I wanted to become but I learned a lot from them and me and my family are

[00:10:56] like rough around the edges but we have a good heart we have a good heart like we do but we are

[00:11:02] we could be very abrupt aggressive and that's where I learned that from and I also had like people in

[00:11:09] my family who have substance abuse problems drink alcohol and also like the effects that that

[00:11:16] had on not only myself but just my family in general and I and I made the vow to myself that

[00:11:23] I would never drink alcohol you know from seeing the damage that it caused and the dysfunction within

[00:11:28] my family you know all of that like I said like man like I'm not I'm not doing that I'm not drinking

[00:11:34] alcohol I'm not doing drugs I'm not doing any of that man because I always wanted to be so

[00:11:39] reminded and I always wanted to be in a place where something wasn't controlling me mentally

[00:11:45] because I always just believed that using alcohol and using drugs is weak is weak minded you know

[00:11:52] I'm saying it it is because you don't want to deal with your problems and you just use those

[00:11:57] things as a crutch you know what I mean it's a band-aid and you know this is all a part of my

[00:12:02] upbringing man of when I was younger and then we segue into when I got into my early 20s and

[00:12:08] that's when like the I don't want to say the true foundation but when I started to reach a higher

[00:12:14] peak of my foundational journey so when I was in my early 20s and I became a lot more reflective

[00:12:22] and I looked at my upbringing and I looked at those around me I observed the actions of my family

[00:12:28] over the years and I want to better for myself and I'm not talking about financially or making more

[00:12:33] money than everybody that's cool but I'm talking about all of me every aspect of my being I wanted

[00:12:40] to do better than my family I wanted to make better decisions I wanted a life filled with peace

[00:12:46] happiness and fulfillment and that's what it's about learning from the generation before you

[00:12:51] and doing better and I saw people in my family have so many regrets about what they should have done

[00:12:57] what they could have done what they would have done and a life full of regrets that keep you down

[00:13:02] as a dark and lonely path and I want to know parts of that and my mindset was if I made a mistake

[00:13:08] or if a decision that I may ended up affecting my life negatively then it is what it is it's all

[00:13:13] the part of the process it's a part of the journey you learn you know better and then you do better

[00:13:19] and I started thinking about all of this stuff in my early 20s and this was around the time where

[00:13:24] I just got sick and tired of going out partying and always looking for another distraction so I'd

[00:13:30] be with my boys and we just chilling and I'm saying to them you know where we at tonight with a

[00:13:35] party at was popping and I never forget this one time I was at a club with all my boys and I've

[00:13:41] been to clubs before but this specific time really stands out because we went to club and you

[00:13:47] know people out there having fun dancing drinking mangolin you know regular club stuff but it was

[00:13:54] different for me this time because while I'm seeing all this with my eyes my mind is elsewhere and

[00:14:00] I'm questioning yo why am I here what is the purpose of me being here and it tripped me out the whole

[00:14:06] night so when I got back home I felt unhappy I felt empty and I kept asking myself over and over

[00:14:15] and over again why were you there I couldn't answer that question and it was scary to me because

[00:14:21] I had answers for everything that I did but I didn't have an answer as to why I was there I didn't

[00:14:28] have an answer to why I was unhappy and that killed me inside and I got to a point where I was just

[00:14:34] sitting back and really reflecting and thinking yo is this really our lives is this really what we do

[00:14:42] and the more that I thought about it the more that I realized that this lifestyle just wasn't in

[00:14:47] the cards for me anymore it just wasn't for me and then I was dealing with different females and

[00:14:53] and all I was doing was feeding my desires but those desires that I kept on feeding were never truly

[00:15:01] satisfied now in a moment I did feel satisfaction but it didn't last long and that fix it keeps calling you

[00:15:11] right it keeps calling you but the problem is that it always led to the same result emptiness

[00:15:18] and that's what I felt every single time I couldn't escape that so I got to the point where I said

[00:15:24] you know what I need to feed my mind I need to nourish and enrich my intellectual and mental

[00:15:29] capacity to retain information I need to keep myself around positive energy I need to alarm

[00:15:35] myself with an environment where I'm growing and not staying stagnant and most of all I wanted to

[00:15:41] figure out what my purpose on this earth was that's what I started thinking about and I just got

[00:15:46] tired of living the same low energy low frequency unfulfilling life and I had to figure out a life

[00:15:54] that actually was worth living and honestly this is when I started getting tired of dumping myself

[00:15:59] down for others I got tired of being around other people who didn't challenge me mentally

[00:16:05] and just wanted to have small talk and just then want to learn you know like I got tired of that

[00:16:10] and I hated it it was trash and I was using my gifts for stupidity like straight up and down just

[00:16:18] for stupidity I was using my gifts to win arguments I was using my gifts to manipulate people I was

[00:16:24] using my gifts to get what I wanted and they got old really fast like I had to do some real soul

[00:16:31] I had to look at myself in the mirror and I asked myself if I was happy and I wasn't I wasn't happy

[00:16:37] what I saw at all I was disappointed in myself but I didn't know any better I didn't know

[00:16:43] I thought that all of those things would have brought me happiness but it didn't and I had to

[00:16:49] eliminate people from my life I had to stop hanging out with my friends I had to get away from

[00:16:56] females and I just had to sit with myself and I started talking to myself and self talk is really

[00:17:04] unhealthy by the way it's really good for you mentally it's very therapeutic but I started reading

[00:17:10] more I started studying I was studying different religions I was studying different philosophies

[00:17:16] I was studying world history my history the true history of my ancestors that were kings

[00:17:21] queens and rulers and the list goes on I was stimulated my mind with so much thought provoking

[00:17:28] information and that was just like a huge chunk of my life like I was just to myself and I put

[00:17:35] in real time to understand who I was and I remember that was like during the time when I was feeling

[00:17:42] myself and I had a conversation with my mother and I had said to her like my like I don't understand

[00:17:48] the world like why people so stupid you know and that's my my eyes open I was learning new things

[00:17:53] and I was feeling myself I was definitely feeling myself and I said I don't understand why do people

[00:17:58] keep doing the same stupid things over and over again why do they not understand how this world

[00:18:02] really works why do they not understand it they're being manipulated that they're being controlled

[00:18:07] that they're being brainwashed why do they continue to keep their desires focused on that low hanging

[00:18:12] fruit I don't get it like what's going on I remember my mother she told me she said

[00:18:17] you need to cool it but mom was like you need to calm down and she said yeah it's good like I'm

[00:18:23] happy for you that you learning all these different things and that you are exposing yourself

[00:18:28] to all this wealth of knowledge but you have to understand that everybody doesn't learn

[00:18:32] at the same pace everybody doesn't come to the same conclusions and everybody has to get there when

[00:18:38] they get there in their time and like I said I was young man my mom was blown if my mother humbled me

[00:18:46] royally and to this day I keep that near and dead of my heart but one of the biggest tests for me

[00:18:53] when it came to figuring out who I was and a test of my foundations as well was also in my early 20s

[00:19:01] when I found out that my mom said cancer and when I found that out like I mean like it hit me so

[00:19:08] crazy like I didn't even know how to respond you know what I mean like when she told me that

[00:19:13] I just felt I felt dead you know so I could just imagine how my mom's felt and she had stage

[00:19:20] believing with stage two at the time stage two cancer she had bone cancer so she had a conversation

[00:19:27] with me and she just told me you know I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to live

[00:19:32] they said it could be a year two years five years ten years they don't know so at the time when

[00:19:38] mom told me that you know she wasn't even 50 years old yet like she was like 47 46 47

[00:19:44] she passed away when she was 48 but when she told me that like it's just it was like a train hit

[00:19:51] me and my mom's alive for like I would say three years after that so I found out that um

[00:20:00] my mom's had brain cancer like the cancer has spread throughout her body

[00:20:06] and it went to her brain and she was in the hospital she was a hospice care

[00:20:11] and it was like in 2013 from January to April because April is when she passed but I remember from

[00:20:20] January to April I was seeing her literally every single day and I was just seeing my mom deteriorate

[00:20:27] every day and it was just tearing me apart but I just tried to make the best of that situation

[00:20:34] and just talked to her as much as I could and even when she got to the point where she couldn't

[00:20:40] really speak like that and I still was just there every day and just holding her hand and

[00:20:45] just being there for her you know what I'm saying because she gave me so much in my life

[00:20:49] which is what I spoke about before you know she helped to shape and mold mean to the man that I am

[00:20:54] today so I just wanted to give everything back to her because she deserved that and when she passed

[00:21:01] that really messed me up mentally it really it turned me into a different person

[00:21:06] and that person who I said that I was that was doing all that research the reading the learning

[00:21:12] finding himself a lot of that went by the wayside or that self-worth that I had was gone because

[00:21:20] I lost a part of who I was when she died I had a void pouring me and through that whole process

[00:21:28] it really messed me up and like I said a lot of my principles and me loving myself and me being

[00:21:36] happy and having my peace was taken away from me and it was a trauma I was great we fast forward

[00:21:44] to 2023 10 years and I tell y'all no lie it took me about nine or 10 years to get to a place for

[00:21:53] for me to get to a place where I felt happy again like truly happy again throughout those 10 years

[00:22:01] this past decade I've drained myself and I've given myself to so many people to my family

[00:22:07] my unpassed away me and my cousin were taking care of my grandfather he passed away

[00:22:13] and then we were taking care of my grandmother for a few years and then she passed away recently

[00:22:19] and my cousin I had a lot going on in our personal lives but we had to embrace the responsibilities

[00:22:25] that in an ideal world this is what your children do but based on circumstances we had to take care

[00:22:31] of our grandparents it was stressful and it wasn't easy but we do what we had to do I was married

[00:22:38] that was stressful as well I was taking care of my wife it was just so many different things

[00:22:42] that I was going through during that time and I was just giving myself to everybody but I was never

[00:22:47] giving anything to myself I wasn't at all but we get to 2023 I just had enough of all of that

[00:22:55] I had enough of me giving myself to people who were ungrateful given myself to people who didn't

[00:23:02] deserve it and also given myself to people who just don't even understand all the work that I put in

[00:23:11] and what I sacrificed to do and I just got to the point where like I had to love myself

[00:23:16] and get back to that but if you notice I just said get back to that those are key words

[00:23:23] back to that so when I said an episode one your foundation is important it's paramount

[00:23:30] I talked about people having trash foundations poor foundations so I had a strong foundation

[00:23:36] but my foundation got rocked that's when I was talking about the stones with the house and all

[00:23:41] that right remember an episode one that was trauma that was a hurricane that was a tornado

[00:23:47] it tore my house apart but I had a strong foundation when I got back to where I needed to be mentally

[00:23:54] I could always go back to my foundation of who I am of what I'm about

[00:24:00] of what I care about of what is important to me of what I'm not willing to compromise

[00:24:06] I was able to go back to that because I was no longer grieving anymore so I had that foundational

[00:24:13] part of my life still there it was tucked away all the way at the bottom

[00:24:18] because I had that storm hit me and it messed me up but I wasn't going forever though

[00:24:24] I had to rebuild again and with everything and everyone that I've lost in my life

[00:24:29] I didn't complain because I still have those are the key words I still have

[00:24:35] and I appreciate that and I don't take that for granted because I realize how short life is

[00:24:42] and I realized my purpose and what I need to do and I came to the conclusion that who I am

[00:24:48] and was fulfilling to me is me being 100% myself at all times me not compromising myself for anybody

[00:24:55] because of their beliefs or how they may feel if you like me that's dope if you don't like me

[00:25:02] that's dope

[00:25:05] straight up and down I'm just being honest with y'all but that's fulfillment to me

[00:25:10] helping those who are less fortunate helping those who are in need helping my family

[00:25:15] sacrificing me pouring myself into them and giving them my all that's a part of me

[00:25:22] but throughout this process I also learn how to pour into myself and I learned how to be selfish

[00:25:27] I learned that as well because that's the most important because I live with me every day

[00:25:32] and that's who I am so I know that I want to make a difference in lives I know that I wanted

[00:25:36] to help people I know that I wanted to give the advice and the experience that I had in my life

[00:25:41] and use my experiences to help to help the world because I've been through a lot

[00:25:46] at my young age like I'm 35 years old right now and in this past decade I feel like

[00:25:51] I've encountered and had to go through so many deaths it's not even funny

[00:25:57] but these things have made me stronger and I use it to help me to keep going on and I have so much

[00:26:04] wisdom I think so much wisdom throughout this process so it's like now that I'm doing this podcast

[00:26:11] I'm using my voice to help other people because I love the talk talk is my love language

[00:26:18] right these old aspects of who I am talking is my love language it really is and I also can't stand

[00:26:23] small talk so while I do love talking I like having stimulating conversations intellectual

[00:26:30] conversations deep conversations small talk garbage but again I had that foundation

[00:26:37] I figured out who I was in my 20s but just imagine if I didn't do all those things that I did before

[00:26:43] I don't know where I would be right now because I put the work into get there and you got to

[00:26:47] put that work in also and you got to find your voice and we have a lot of outside influences

[00:26:53] in our lives and sometimes we don't know if it's our voice or if it's our parents voice

[00:26:59] if it's our siblings voice this our boyfriend and girlfriend's voice if it's our friends voice

[00:27:04] well you got to be able to decipher that because sometimes you just don't even know

[00:27:08] is it the voice of the people that someone television the quote-unquote celebrities the quote-unquote

[00:27:14] important people that you are aware the people that you follow on social media all of that stuff

[00:27:21] whose voice is it is it yours you definitely have to figure that out because if you don't I mean

[00:27:26] you're just going through life and you just you're like a zombie you know not said black zombies but

[00:27:35] yeah like you you're just like a zombie man like you're just walking around without any path

[00:27:42] and you're just looking for the next thing to excite you and and then you coming off of that high

[00:27:50] come off of that high and it's just the same process repeated over and over again rinse and repeat

[00:27:58] same thing so as we wrap up episode two I got to test for y'all or when I want to challenge y'all

[00:28:04] I'm gonna ask you a question after I ask that question I want y'all to pause this episode

[00:28:10] and I want y'all to think about what I asked you come up with an answer and then play the rest of

[00:28:15] the episode and see if your answer aligns with what I said why do you think that I gave you

[00:28:21] background on who I am background on how I grew up background on my upbringing a background on my

[00:28:29] family all the things that I've been through what do you think the purpose was why do you think that

[00:28:34] I explained to all of that's y'all so if your answers were anywhere along the lines of I did this

[00:28:41] because I like talking about myself I like to hear myself talk and I want to give out my personal

[00:28:48] business to people well you would be incorrect on all fronts so number one I don't like talking

[00:28:54] about myself I don't like him myself talk and that's a really ironic and I surely do not like

[00:29:02] to talk about my personal business at all but when it comes to this episode and when it comes to my

[00:29:08] podcast I'm doing it for edification reasons and I 100% did not give y'all this information because

[00:29:16] I just wanted to give y'all background on how I grew up and who I am and no I do want to get

[00:29:22] background on myself for sure that's part of the reason but if that's the only thing that you got

[00:29:27] from everything that I talked about today then the overall point went over your head so let's get

[00:29:34] to the full point the full point and the reason why I gave this information is because

[00:29:40] in order for you to understand who you are you have to do the same thing you have to go back

[00:29:45] to your upbringing you have to go back to oh okay how was I raised how were my parents my siblings

[00:29:52] my friends my relationships you have to go back to when you were a child all the way to whatever

[00:29:58] age you are today that's how you figure out who you are that's the reason why I gave y'all

[00:30:04] that information because I want you all to conduct this exercise and really delve into everything

[00:30:12] that you have gone through since you were a child because in order to figure out who you truly

[00:30:18] are as a person you need to delve into all of those different pockets there's no shortcuts

[00:30:25] there's no shortcuts who we are is not just about in my 20s and my 30s and my 40s nah it goes

[00:30:31] all the way back to when you came out of your mom's vagina I'm just saying that's just what it is

[00:30:36] if that sounds explicit to y'all I don't care it's nature it's nature y'all that's where it comes

[00:30:43] from though so that's the reason why I gave y'all that information Kobe Bryant had this mantra that

[00:30:49] he called the mamba mentality and the mamba mentality is a constant quest to be the best version of

[00:30:54] oneself and that's very important we all should want to be the best versions of ourselves 100%

[00:31:01] but before you could be the best version of yourself you have to figure out who you actually are

[00:31:07] everything that I've been discussing throughout this episode is how you achieve that that's how

[00:31:12] you get there and when you figure out who you are then you could figure out what type of relationships

[00:31:18] you want in your life when you figure out who you are then you can figure out what type of career

[00:31:23] you want when you figure out who you are then you could figure out who do I want my boyfriend

[00:31:28] or my girlfriend or my wife or my husband to be but I know y'all want to skip the steps

[00:31:33] y'all want to get in relationships without knowing who you are and then y'all want to get in

[00:31:37] relationships again with somebody else still not knowing who you are still making the same mistake

[00:31:42] still being with the same people that's not compatible with you yeah I know y'all want to have

[00:31:46] careers and jobs and not know who you are y'all want to have children and not know who you are

[00:31:51] and then y'all want to complain about your lives and say how it's so terrible and how you're

[00:31:55] so unhappy and you don't understand why yeah I know y'all we got to stop this vicious cycle

[00:32:03] we have to examine our lives we have to scrutinize our lives and we have to be critically observant

[00:32:08] of our lives we've got to stop this vicious cycle of making these life decisions without knowing

[00:32:15] who we even are it's just backwards man it's so backwards is crazy and there's one thing if y'all

[00:32:23] just affecting your own personal lives but y'all also are bringing other people down which y'all

[00:32:29] and you know misery loves company and y'all just messing other people up you know I'm saying just

[00:32:34] due to the fact that y'all don't know who you are we got to stop with that cut it out and I don't

[00:32:39] know about y'all but figuring out who you are is the true definition of a life that's worth

[00:32:47] living I'm your host Jay smooth and thank you for listening to the life on examine is not