Episode 8: Keepin' It 100

[00:00:03] Was Goodie, Was Goodie, I'm your host J-Smoove and welcome to The Life Unexamined Is Not Worth

[00:00:39] Living and we are on episode 8, keeping it 100. Now before I get started you all can find me

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[00:01:49] your consent of course. Alright so let's get back to business now this next guest that I have

[00:01:56] is special and in the end date of my heart he's been in my life from when I was younger

[00:02:02] and I spoke about him briefly on episode two of my podcast. My father was not in my life but

[00:02:09] this man was a father figure to me and was with my mother for a few years they got married

[00:02:15] it didn't last long but he did have a positive a positive influence part of me in my life

[00:02:21] but after he and my moms had separated he was in a different relationship with somebody and

[00:02:26] he introduced me to the woman that he's married to today and I was like 14 years old and at that time

[00:02:33] I was just saying to myself you know I got my moms and this woman that you're trying to

[00:02:38] introduce me to I don't really care for all of that I'm good so over the years we didn't have

[00:02:43] that much contact. We did speak from time to time but it wasn't the same as what it was before

[00:02:49] but recently after my grandmother had passed away he and I got close again and I'm just grateful

[00:02:54] to have him in my life and somebody I consider family so without further ado I would like to

[00:03:01] introduce Brian Gray. Thank you for being on my podcast. It's an honor bro and to have the blessing

[00:03:14] of watching you from a child to evolve into the man you've become is it's a true blessing

[00:03:20] man and you never know what kind of impact you have on a person until sometimes years later

[00:03:27] and sometimes they may or may not express to you what kind of impact you have so the fact that you

[00:03:33] are doing that and they were blessed to be in communication with each other it's a true honor

[00:03:37] man to be here and be able to speak on your behalf and promote and support what you're doing

[00:03:42] because you're doing great work so continue what you're doing man and you're not you're

[00:03:47] going to be unstoppable man because you're making a positive impact in the world you know and

[00:03:52] it's going to last long after you and I both gone it's going to last and that's what you want to do

[00:03:59] in this world is leave a mark in the legacy so that's what we all need to be striving towards

[00:04:04] so I'll give you a quick summary for your fans and your people that don't know me

[00:04:10] you know I come from New York City born and raised born at Harlem raised in Brooklyn

[00:04:15] single mom you know I had a father obviously it's all I got here but

[00:04:20] he was not really a part of my life so he had a second family somewhere in Queens and

[00:04:26] I grew up under a mother who was strong she had to be mother and the father

[00:04:33] nurturer and a disciplinarian and so I was blessed to have a strong mother that I had

[00:04:39] and she helped guide me and gave me the foundation that I have and that I was able

[00:04:44] to work on and build from and from there I had the fortunate blessing to have older sisters

[00:04:52] who chose good men to be in their lives and so that was a benefit to me as well because these

[00:04:59] guys took me as a little brother and put me onto different things of life and how to navigate

[00:05:05] through things and they gave me more or less an example of what a man is supposed to look like

[00:05:11] so I did have that and I had good people around me I grew up in you know born in 69 grew up in

[00:05:17] the 70s in New York City so in the inner city communities I had the fortune of being in an

[00:05:24] environment where it was a village and everyone was looking out for each other each other's families

[00:05:31] so I had older older men that was in the streets they could they were in the street game some of

[00:05:37] them weren't but they would be like yo I'm shorty check it this is what you need to be doing and they

[00:05:42] would always try to keep us at my and my group age going moving in the right direction so I had

[00:05:50] many many many blessings and I did I actually had the experience many many trials tribulations

[00:05:57] struggles and tragedies so I take those things and I combine it all into like a gumbo pot

[00:06:04] like what they say in the war is a pot of gumbo and that's all mixed in with my experience and it's

[00:06:09] all a part of me becoming the man that I than I am today sitting here today so that's a little

[00:06:15] bit of my back wound no thank you for that thank you for that so yeah you said that you grew up

[00:06:21] in in Brooklyn and if I'm not mistaken you grew up in Bestar right so right I mean you grew

[00:06:26] up in the hood so yeah talk about how that was like like I was it like growing up and now

[00:06:32] type of neighborhood and seeing the things that you see well I tell you what it was to me at that time

[00:06:38] it was a blessing because before I moved to Brooklyn I was in the third grade when I moved to Brooklyn

[00:06:46] third grade so I'm around here so when I was in Manhattan or in Harlem I remember living on

[00:06:53] 112th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam couldn't come outside because it was not safe

[00:06:59] then from there we moved up to 155th between Broadway and Amsterdam that many that's when the

[00:07:06] Dominican was coming in heavy into New York City right couldn't go outside school and back and that's

[00:07:12] it dangerous then we went up to 160th between Broadway and Amsterdam couldn't come outside

[00:07:20] wasn't safe my mother had a boyfriend that lived in Brooklyn he and his sister owned a brownstone

[00:07:26] and we would go visit them before I moved to Brooklyn and there was kids on the block that we

[00:07:32] could play together and I had my phone so when my mother told me we were actually moving there I

[00:07:38] was happy I was excited again a state as a dangerous neighborhood where it was guards and

[00:07:44] shooting mad violence all around but we felt like we had an old like little bubble on a one block

[00:07:52] and that was on Madison Street between Topkiss and Trude but we had a crew that was tight we had

[00:07:58] an abandoned brownstone that we made into our clubhouse so I didn't get to experience that in

[00:08:03] Manhattan so that's when I felt like wow this is what a real childhood is supposed to feel like

[00:08:10] so I have friends but we would mainly stay on our block it was an adventure for us to go

[00:08:15] down to the corner where the A-Rap store was and excuse my terminology maybe that's not

[00:08:21] appropriate now but we used to call them A-Raps so Little Eastern guys they own the bodega yeah the

[00:08:27] A-Rap store Habibi store the bodega yeah I know they had the video games chips candy juice sandwiches

[00:08:37] all of that and so it was like a I felt like it was heaven you know but we would see crime scenes

[00:08:43] bodies drop we look at it but it was normal to us that sounds crazy but we're like oh yo

[00:08:50] boy got shot we see we see the body bags zipped up cops but that's still error that it was back

[00:08:58] then and that's when we grew up in and a lot of my elders in our neighborhood we seen them go

[00:09:04] they went upstate and I never saw them again so whatever things they were involved in or what

[00:09:08] they were doing but they always made a point to say yo y'all you're a little homies man

[00:09:13] y'all want to get involved with this and this and that it was really it was love it was real

[00:09:18] love man but it was territorial rivalries when we would step off and move through other blocks

[00:09:25] you guys like yo you don't live on this plot you're doing over here and so that's when it

[00:09:29] things got nuts and we will go up to my local elementary school where the basketball courts

[00:09:35] was and those are becoming from different blocks not knowing each other and it was very territorial

[00:09:41] very tribal and that's where the problems will jump off so I appreciate all of it man the good

[00:09:47] the bad the ugly you know what I mean and it helped shake me into a who I am and it allowed me to have

[00:09:55] a perspective that a lot of people don't have so now later on fast forward as I became an adult

[00:10:01] I went to the military I went to college and then I ended up eventually in law enforcement

[00:10:07] so now because now I'm in law enforcement it gave me a perspective that a lot of my

[00:10:13] fellow colleagues didn't have because I was dropped right into the hood back in our men

[00:10:19] brownsville police in the streets of brownsville surrounded by projects number gunshots murder

[00:10:27] drug sales but I had a different perspective because it was something I was always used to

[00:10:32] growing up seeing it knowing the people that was involved with that stuff so I was able

[00:10:37] to communicate with them differently and in my opinion more effectively than other police officers

[00:10:43] that maybe were Caucasian that came from suburbs and maybe even some of the some of the African

[00:10:49] American officers the Hispanic officers that wasn't necessarily from that type of hood so they would

[00:10:55] actually look to me and like yo man I like how you did this or that how you talk to this guy

[00:11:01] and I was like almost like in my opinion a calming force when interactions would get a little bit

[00:11:07] heated I would come in and be that calming voice and it got to a point where the cast on the street

[00:11:14] would say yo great man real mad respect to you and not that I'm doing anything for them not that

[00:11:20] I'm letting them get away with anything it's just how I'm handling it it's more of from a level

[00:11:25] of respect and understanding of like bro I understand what you're doing it's not a good choice you're

[00:11:31] making but here's some options that you could consider and not telling to tell these guys and

[00:11:38] school these guys and like I'm the grandmaster know it all but just giving them other other

[00:11:44] points of view to say hey man you do have some other choices you could be making

[00:11:48] no things are rough out here but you know you you have other options and you know just

[00:11:53] to put a little seed in someone's head and who knows what kind of impact that had I don't have any

[00:11:58] contact with these people anymore but hopefully whatever I did out there on the streets it had

[00:12:03] some type of positive event I believe it probably did I wanted to stop you right there because

[00:12:09] something that you said that was very interesting you said that when you used to go

[00:12:12] to the neighborhoods and that's what happens a lot of times anyway they put you right back

[00:12:18] where you came from you know what I mean and they and they want you to police those streets

[00:12:23] but the thing that stood out to me was you didn't just view it as well I'm police in the streets and

[00:12:29] I'm just trying to lock these guys up and I'm just trying to you know provoke them and just

[00:12:35] get them you know get them incarcerated put them in the system which is not a system that's built

[00:12:40] for rehabilitation anyway which I'm pretty sure that you know that right so you are actually

[00:12:46] trying to talk to these guys and have a real conversation with them and help them and

[00:12:50] like you said you will come at it from a different perspective because you came from that

[00:12:54] so you're looking out for these guys and trying to help them in a positive way and not just harass

[00:12:59] them we're not saying that they're not involved in illegal activity and all of that we're not

[00:13:02] saying that but there's a lot of people that's involved in illegal activity that's white

[00:13:07] collar crime right and that's not just like crumbs in the street but that's the way that it is

[00:13:13] portrayed to us but getting back to my point you always kept in 100 you stay true to who

[00:13:19] you were and when you said that that foundation that you had from the beginning of you seeing all

[00:13:25] the stuff that you saw the good and the bad that made you become who you are and you carry that even

[00:13:31] being a police officer and trying to help these people so I think that that's very key and very

[00:13:37] very important yeah and then one thing too that I didn't actually mention is what helped me was

[00:13:44] I was exposed to the 5% nation and the nation of Islam as a youth as well so under the under the study

[00:13:51] of the Honorable Lewis Farrakhan I started to understand the dynamics of society on a whole

[00:13:59] and how systems work and how systems are designed to put people certain people at a disadvantage

[00:14:06] in advantage so I'm coming at it from that perspective as well and so that allowed me to

[00:14:13] really look at things even differently than maybe another black officer would even who didn't have

[00:14:18] that background or experience so I understand the system and what what the odds are when they

[00:14:26] start against us especially as general black males so I'm always coming at it from that

[00:14:31] perspective where listen man you have been set up for failure and that is a 100 000 fat

[00:14:39] we are set up for failure in this society in this system there's no bones about it there's nothing

[00:14:46] to debate so we know that and if you do understand that now you can approach things different

[00:14:53] and that's that was part of the perspective that I used to bring to these guys

[00:14:57] like listen man I understand everything you do because I came from the same world

[00:15:03] but if you understand that it's been by design so put you in a situation if you continue to

[00:15:10] perpetuate now you're a part of it 100% you know there's no rocket science to it man it's just

[00:15:17] a matter of having that understanding but once you come into an awakening they call it woke now

[00:15:24] but I call it had the knowledge itself no I agree with your history your true legacy is

[00:15:30] what kind of people you come from what you guys have your generations before you have

[00:15:36] accomplished and how they have lived with dignity honor respect once you know that that's what you

[00:15:41] come from like yo what am I doing now why am I doing the opposite of it that doesn't make any

[00:15:47] sense so that's the way I have always lived my life and that's something my mother taught me

[00:15:53] without knowing she was teaching me that just the way she carried herself and she didn't she didn't

[00:15:58] have all of this knowledge she just carried herself with dignity and she told us I don't care how poor

[00:16:04] we are I don't care what you don't have what you always can have is dignity and respect and honor

[00:16:12] we will we will pour and people thought we came from middle to upper middle class backgrounds

[00:16:18] because we go out in the world and interact with people intelligent great but they're like

[00:16:22] where are you from where you you oh I thought you was from like Cosby Huxton Bull type of environment

[00:16:28] no only 100% opposite but it's the way we carried ourselves and that was that was came from my mother

[00:16:35] and then the other teachers that I got from guys on the street that had knowledge itself

[00:16:40] and that's really made a tremendous difference in my life and it's funny that you said

[00:16:44] that they thought the child came from money and that couldn't be any further from the truth

[00:16:48] because I know that you did not come from money at all but it's funny because I always say that

[00:16:53] it's about being true to who you are no matter what so like you said you could come from where

[00:16:57] you come from you could speak with a certain dialect but that doesn't mean that you're

[00:17:02] not intelligent that doesn't mean that you're not able to articulate yourself well

[00:17:06] and I get a little bit annoyed sometimes too and it's all good because everybody could do

[00:17:11] whatever they want it's your preference but me personally I can't stand how people do like the

[00:17:17] cold switching thing that's like a pet peeve of mine I believe that you should be who you are

[00:17:23] no matter where you are like I said before you can articulate yourself well and still speak

[00:17:29] naturally how you speak right it doesn't have to be this thing where oh I'm around these types

[00:17:34] of people so I can't speak this way I'm around those types of people so I can't speak that way

[00:17:40] that's basura it's trash be you know what I'm saying but I say all that to say

[00:17:47] it's dope that you stay true to who you are and that's what my podcast is about being

[00:17:52] your 100% true self and being authentic so I appreciate you sharing that 100% absolutely

[00:17:59] there that's what I said it's an honor and it's a blessing to be able to share my story

[00:18:04] because I don't reach people on a wide base from a large platform I just I reach people

[00:18:12] based on my personal interactions with them so what you're doing here you you're going to reach

[00:18:17] a much wider base a much larger audience and even to pick up having me on your platform

[00:18:24] well I could share my story that could reach a wider circle than what I would normally

[00:18:28] reach on my own personal level that's huge right and if it benefits someone you know it's a blessing

[00:18:35] man you you're you're a vessel man for change man and you know with your generation you know I almost

[00:18:44] not almost I was very worried about the young brothers in your age group man from based on what

[00:18:50] I see and I don't see a lot of good things coming from them but when I look at you and

[00:18:57] certain other young cats that I run into gives me hope man for the future because now

[00:19:03] I'm considered honestly I'm not old but I'm elder so I'm like yo bro who's gonna take the baton

[00:19:11] or pass who we passing the torch to because you know we only hear for a certain amount of time

[00:19:16] and I have two young sons and you know I'm doing what I can to keep them on track with

[00:19:22] what they need to be doing but there's a middle gap in between that which is your error and so when

[00:19:29] I see brothers like you doing what you're doing yeah it gives me hope and inspiration and if there's

[00:19:34] anything I can do to support that I'm here 100% nah thank you thank you thank you salute for sure

[00:19:42] for sure you know I'm just trying to move around like a king and a lot of my I don't know how

[00:19:48] I want to say this a lot of people in my age group they want to be called kings and women want to be

[00:19:55] called queens but they move around like children and they don't know what it means to be a king they

[00:20:00] don't know what it means to move with purpose and to affect people in a positive way and there's

[00:20:06] a lot of ignorance out there and a lot of people that we look at as leaders are not leaders

[00:20:12] and naturally I'm a leader anyway I'm not a sheep so I don't believe in the herd mentality I'm an

[00:20:18] independent thinker mixed with a little bit of contrary and I ain't gonna lie and quite honestly

[00:20:25] we don't need leaders we can lead ourselves you know but we could work together as a community

[00:20:30] and lead together but it's just a lot of following mentality and it's just not a lot of positive

[00:20:37] energy that's being put out there so no thank you I appreciate that and I'm just trying to do

[00:20:42] my part in trying to help as many people as possible and the younger generation is what's

[00:20:47] most important you know because they they come after us before we get there though as I do want to

[00:20:53] talk about that a little bit more but before we get there I did want to talk to you more about

[00:20:57] you moving up within the ranks of your department being a police officer I know that you had

[00:21:03] different roles throughout the years through the years did you find it harder to move up

[00:21:10] and I'm not saying harder because the work was difficult nah I'm not saying that I'm saying

[00:21:16] harder and more difficult based on the politics having to kiss people's behind and having to

[00:21:23] compromise who you are as a person did you experience that yeah no that's an excellent question

[00:21:29] and you know people say a lot of people talk about the cliche you got to change things from

[00:21:35] the inside you got to get on the inside in order for you to make a change or make a difference

[00:21:42] and I beg to differ on that point and the reason I do is because I was on the inside and

[00:21:48] what I realized is that as you move or attempt to move through the ranks to higher positions

[00:21:56] you have to be lighted you have to tap you and say yeah this guy is good in order for them to do

[00:22:03] that you have to show improve to them that you are going to perpetuate the system that's

[00:22:10] already in place that's already established now if you like that system or if you don't care about

[00:22:17] the system whether it's right or wrong effective or ineffective and you're in it just for your own

[00:22:23] personal interest or benefit then yeah you play the game and you go move up and get lighted and

[00:22:30] say hey listen we want this amount of arrest we don't care what it is what it's for but

[00:22:36] if you show us the stats then that's going to be a good reflection on you and you're going to

[00:22:42] be considered for promotion when I rise up the ranks now one of the issues that I have with police

[00:22:49] work in NYPD specifically is that they evaluate an officer based on how many arrests they made

[00:22:58] how many summons they made right yeah you're talking about quotas yeah so there is such a

[00:23:04] thing as quotas no matter what they tell you in the public and it doesn't matter necessarily the

[00:23:09] quality of the arrest the quality or legitimacy of the summons as you write they just want the numbers

[00:23:16] because this is how we can quantify that police work is being done yeah which is a fallacy in itself

[00:23:23] but the system is what it is but continue breaking down that science so you can have an officer

[00:23:28] that he might come in with three or four arrests for the month but they're good solid quality arrests

[00:23:35] and he could have had multiple interactions with people where he's used his discretion

[00:23:40] not to arrest someone because it was a domestic issue or something that could have been resolved

[00:23:45] without an arrest to keep the family and to actually keep the community in a better state

[00:23:52] where listen we are here not just to lock everybody up let's understand the circumstances

[00:23:57] in each particular situation whereas you could have another officer he's just any any offense

[00:24:04] he's locking everybody up so he's got 20 arrests for the month you have three or four you look like

[00:24:10] a bum this guy looks like a superstar but how is he managing his interactions so this is the

[00:24:16] way they analyze and reward you so for me that's a flawed system right just for fundamentally

[00:24:23] that's flawed in evaluating the officers effectiveness or his quality of work so that's

[00:24:30] that's the main issue that I had I'm like listen I'm not here to just make numbers and

[00:24:35] make the supervisors look good and make myself look good so I can get opportunities for promotion

[00:24:41] and things like that that's not how I do it so that in itself was what you talk about staying

[00:24:47] truly yourself I'm here to make a difference in the actual community and people's lives

[00:24:52] and if that benefits me that's great if it doesn't I don't care absolutely and you're spot on because

[00:24:58] making arrests doesn't mean that you're actually making a difference in the community

[00:25:03] that's a fallacy and there is a time and a place to make arrests 100 but I've always had

[00:25:08] the mindset that we need to focus more on the types of services programs opportunities leadership

[00:25:17] those are the things that's most important in the neighborhoods do we have that because if not

[00:25:23] then the root of the problems in the communities will never be addressed and with all that being

[00:25:28] said I believe that many of us and especially minority communities need to learn how to

[00:25:34] police ourselves and the system as purposefully perpetuated our views on cops that's by design

[00:25:40] yo after cops they harass us all they do is come through and they just want to make trouble with us

[00:25:46] yeah there's validity to that but y'all are also doing the things that y'all are doing too you

[00:25:51] know what I mean and yes there's a reason why y'all are doing that and there's a reason

[00:25:55] why you act like that and you grow up impoverished and drugs are putting your neighborhood

[00:26:01] guns or putting your neighborhood I get that I understand that I'm not I'm not oblivious to that

[00:26:06] absolutely but at some point in time like we got to look within ourselves and our community and say

[00:26:12] enough of that like enough of that and we can police ourselves and we don't need these people

[00:26:15] to come here and telling us what to do and all of that you know because they don't have our best

[00:26:19] interests at heart anyway we have to have our best interests at heart no that's 100%

[00:26:25] facts man and that's some of the things that I used to tell these guys when I

[00:26:29] would interact with them I'm like if you don't like the police then don't give the police a reason

[00:26:33] that have to be here every time I come to show up at a call is because the call came through 911

[00:26:41] somebody called for some reason whatever it is if there's drug sales shooting or an assault

[00:26:48] that's me responding okay now and I used to tell guys you could buy a police scanner from

[00:26:55] radio shop just listen monitor the radio you could put it on the channels and try to tell

[00:27:02] you could go to the Italian neighborhoods where those precents are you can go to the Russian

[00:27:08] neighborhoods and listen to the radio activity and you'll go to sleep because you won't hear much

[00:27:14] of it right why are you going to the Brogds put on the Harlem channel Brooklyn Bed-Stard

[00:27:23] Browseville East New York it's constant chatter mail black with a gun mail black drug sales

[00:27:30] five mail blacks on the corner picking in Livonia whatever so you hear the activity

[00:27:38] and that's that's the need for the police to respond so I'm like if you don't want the

[00:27:44] police bothering you all you have to do is police yourselves and clean up your own neighbor

[00:27:49] 100% so you can do that they're gonna have to show up and do the job that you're not able to do

[00:27:57] and you're not gonna like how they do it so you're better off trying to do it yourself

[00:28:01] agreed and I would say exactly that to these guys and then the other thing about it and I get

[00:28:07] it to the yo there's no stitching in this this scenario okay I get that because you still have

[00:28:13] to live here I go home if somebody follows out you're talking about this and now to the

[00:28:17] police you're gonna have a problem oh yeah it's a rep it's a weird dynamic man and but I understand

[00:28:24] it and I'm sympathetic to it but at the same time I'm asking each person as an individual what are you

[00:28:30] doing to not be a part of the problem or to help find a solution you got to ask yourself we all

[00:28:37] have to ask ourselves that I have problems I struggle with things to this day but I have

[00:28:41] to always ask myself what am I doing to solve this problem and if I can't have if I haven't

[00:28:48] found the answer then that means that's on me and that's all everybody that I talk to man

[00:28:53] you have to be responsible for you or what you do and if you see something that you don't like

[00:29:00] that you're just complaining about but you're not being proactive about finding a solution

[00:29:06] then you don't have a way to complain and you just got to live with it and take the results

[00:29:10] and eat it you know so it's just a matter of fact approach that I take to life and I brought that into

[00:29:16] policing I bring it into everything I do you know and so to me in my opinion I think it was effective

[00:29:23] because other other officers around me including white officers from the suburbs they would say hey

[00:29:30] man how did you get this guy to comply with you because I treated him with respect I talked to

[00:29:35] him like a human being I look at him like he's a piece of garbage you know what I mean that's all it is

[00:29:41] well but if if you don't understand what that is or how to do that because somebody looks different

[00:29:48] they have a lower economic situation than you do and you're thinking you're looking down on

[00:29:53] somebody you're never going to gain their respect they've got to look at you as an enemy in a

[00:29:57] outsider and you're always going to have a conflict you know and that's that's the difference

[00:30:03] in the way I approach that I had a good time doing police work man it wasn't the worst part for me

[00:30:10] in policing was the bureaucracy of it I had more problems internally within my own department

[00:30:17] than I have being on the streets with criminals and gangsters and let's and let's hold on let

[00:30:23] let's let's pause right there so it's funny that you say that right because on outside looking

[00:30:28] then somebody would say man y'all got to deal with all of this craziness outside and all these people

[00:30:34] out there and killings and shootings and the drugs and prostitution whatever right like that's the

[00:30:40] way that people look at it from the outside but you just said that oh nah it was the inside

[00:30:46] that's what killed me that's what bothered me that's really intriguing and I already have

[00:30:52] a very good idea on why that is but expound upon that well once again when you don't do things

[00:31:00] the way the system is designed for you to do it meaning to write the most amount of summonses

[00:31:06] make the most amount of arrests to make supervision and the hierarchy look good so that they could

[00:31:12] get promoted or they could you know get whatever rewards or accolades they're looking for you

[00:31:19] basically put on a target on your back or like oh he's he's not playing the game or once you have

[00:31:26] that target on your back people do things to undermine and it happens to me and to give you

[00:31:33] even deeper look into it I spent time as an internal affairs investigator so I was investigating

[00:31:40] police corruption so even from that perspective because a lot of a lot of people in the public

[00:31:46] make false allegations so I would have to determine whether this was valid or not and I would do

[00:31:52] thorough investigations and if it was valid we did what we had to do I I have actually locked up

[00:31:58] police officers for criminal activity well if there's something where a complaint is being made

[00:32:05] and it's found out that the complainant is not credible and they're just making something

[00:32:10] not as a retaliatory type of thing I would move to exonerate the police officer not just

[00:32:18] leave with an unfounded case where well we couldn't prove it or we couldn't disprove it

[00:32:24] I would go to extra mall and say no this officer needs to be exonerated and this needs to be

[00:32:30] expunged from his record or either be on his record as he's completely exonerated

[00:32:35] from any misconduct my own department wouldn't allow me to do that they made it very difficult for

[00:32:40] me to do that and what they would do in addition to that was okay well let's find some administrative

[00:32:47] violations then if we don't have anything else on them so this is what I talked about the bureaucracy

[00:32:52] it was very distasteful to see on the inside this is how they deal with their own officers

[00:32:59] but if you are to say certain level in rank which meaning captain or above that's where the

[00:33:06] blue wall still exists where you're more protected and it's almost like I compare it to the mafia

[00:33:12] honestly it's like once you even hit capo status you're in a different league where you protect

[00:33:18] right you can't touch your capo so captains and above a whole different unit of us against

[00:33:24] them anyway but that's where to me the higher levels of corruption still exist but the rank

[00:33:30] and file basic police officers I mean it's so much different now we can't get away with things the way

[00:33:36] you were used to everybody's wearing body cameras now so it's very hard to get away with that

[00:33:42] street level type of corruption in this conduct it really is and that's a great thing honestly

[00:33:48] you know but it still exists so for me the bureaucracy of it the politics of it

[00:33:54] it was the worst experience in my in my plan with the with the ypd I had a bad experience just

[00:34:03] being left alone going out on the street it's right there with the public I had a better time doing that

[00:34:09] right and because of that I'm pretty sure that you left money on the table

[00:34:14] and I'm pretty sure that that had an effect on you moving up within the ranks

[00:34:17] and all because of your integrity your character your core values what you stand for and who you are

[00:34:25] which originated from your foundation yeah and you know actually being in internal affairs and

[00:34:31] seeing on the inside how that works it kind of like saw with me on police work at least

[00:34:36] they're not agency and I I actually retired early you know I retired about five six years early

[00:34:42] and I was moving into business ventures and things like that so I went into that now I said man this

[00:34:47] world is much bigger I'm always a forward-thinking person so I'm looking to maximize my experiences

[00:34:54] my opportunities and things like that so I wanted to business for myself did well for a little while

[00:35:01] then you know that started to take it then I wanted to private security did well with that

[00:35:06] in full circle I'm in Texas now I left New York a couple of years ago but I met back in

[00:35:12] into police work on a different level but I'm on more it's more of community policing I'm in a college

[00:35:18] of Vimea you know just protecting kids protecting families and that's what I wanted to always do

[00:35:26] and the bureaucracy and what I'm doing now is non-existence this is just about community policing

[00:35:34] how can we serve the public in the best way possible and that's what I love doing that

[00:35:39] was my favorite part of police in anyway so I'm now able to do that again and you know it's it's

[00:35:45] dope to hit that because you went from having your experiences when you grew up and then using that

[00:35:52] and that carried you when you were with the NYPD and then you said man but you said it sounds

[00:35:58] you was like I ain't trying to do that yeah but then as you continue to age and you continue

[00:36:03] to grow now you back to doing police work again but it's back to the foundation that you had before

[00:36:09] where you said man I enjoy being on the corners and talking to the brothers like I enjoy teaching I enjoy

[00:36:16] talking to them you went back to that and that was so dope because that was your foundation

[00:36:22] that's who you are and everything always goes back to our foundation who we are our core values

[00:36:29] so that's that's dope man yeah and before I had disposition I spent time in Texas working in the

[00:36:36] jails which I had never done before I was just usually dropping people off and even so I got

[00:36:41] it I got about almost a year of experience working in the jails in Texas and of course

[00:36:46] it's mostly us there but it was a it was a mixture of European Caucasians Hispanic

[00:36:53] and I got to interact with them on a day-to-day basis for 12 hours straight every day and that

[00:36:59] was a great experience for me as well because now I could see and they would share stories with me

[00:37:07] and ask me opinions my opinions or advice about certain things they would tell me their

[00:37:12] cases and what happened and I would be able to talk to them even more interactively to when I

[00:37:17] was on police on the street and I'm like wow you know these guys man they're all human beings just

[00:37:23] and I would always tell them listen I have done things in my life I could have been right in here

[00:37:29] with you very easy so I understand anybody can be in jail man doesn't matter who you are who

[00:37:36] you think you are you could end up in jail it's just a matter if you got caught a lot

[00:37:41] you know what I mean and I was blessed somehow to have not been put in that situation but

[00:37:49] again because of my background where I come from what I've experienced I can relate to people

[00:37:55] that are in that situation worry easily and they were like yo man great man listen man you

[00:38:03] we got mad respect for you so you don't let us get away with anything or you're fair

[00:38:08] you're fair you're reasonable you can help us you actually help us other officers don't

[00:38:13] they don't even care they don't look at us like with nothing and I've never taken that

[00:38:19] approach ever in life never ever and it served me well you know because there's guys there was

[00:38:25] a guy in Texas he's he was locked up for capital murder and I ran into him at a restaurant so I guess

[00:38:33] he finally made bail he came up to me he's like yo man I know you I didn't recognize him right

[00:38:41] he said wow man did you work in you worked in the just yeah he said yeah you were the guy because

[00:38:47] he had a problem with one of the other officers so they had to eject him from the sub block where

[00:38:52] he was at so I had to come and get him out and he made a statement that he was potentially

[00:38:58] was suicidal so I had to take him so the infirmary and we had to put him on suicide watch I had to

[00:39:04] confiscate all his clothes shoes socks everything and I just talked to him and said hey listen man

[00:39:09] because you made that statement this is what we got to do but he said man you guys were cool

[00:39:14] man you treated me with respect and now he's out on the street I said yo what happened with your

[00:39:19] case nah man I still this case is still on me I was able to bond out so I'm out on bond right

[00:39:25] now but he said yo I like how I appreciate how you handled me this is what a guy said to me in the

[00:39:31] street I'm like wow and I used to get that in New York too because guys would come up to me

[00:39:36] and I don't remember these people but they remembered me because that was an experience for them

[00:39:42] that I have on a daily basis with all types of individual they're like you're great used to

[00:39:47] work in so it's on Brownsville right yeah you know you was mad cool man you'll

[00:39:53] much respect you marry you out here now and I used to get that type of wow so obviously I'm

[00:39:59] doing something that's okay you know because the way people are receiving me and responding to me

[00:40:04] you know it's like they respect what I do and how I do it so I appreciate that now for sure

[00:40:11] and you're a stand-up dude 100% and I can relate to having a long lasting effect on people

[00:40:17] in the workplace and in life in general and you're not even aware of it because I worked

[00:40:22] in corporate America and I was a manager at JP Morgan Deutsche Bank Capital One and I would always

[00:40:29] have people say to me you know George like I really respect you you're one of the few people that I've

[00:40:34] met that you know you keep it real over time like you're unapologetically you at all times and

[00:40:40] you don't care you don't kiss anybody's behind you move to your own to pardon me

[00:40:46] you move to the B to your own drum and you truly do care about the people who work there

[00:40:51] and you don't get sucked into all of the politics and all of that other BS

[00:40:55] I would always say when I was at work when people were saying like oh I'm so stressed out from work

[00:40:59] and I can't sleep at night and I'm like man when I'm done with work I'm done with work

[00:41:04] I don't even think about work after that like it's a paycheck for me my career and what I do

[00:41:10] does not define me at all you know but that's just me so I was actually able to move up in

[00:41:16] different companies pretty quickly so I remember when I was working at JP Morgan

[00:41:20] I was looking to get a job at another another institution and the director had given me a

[00:41:27] $15,000 raise and this wasn't even during the time that we would give raises during the

[00:41:32] beginning of the year they just didn't want me to leave they wanted to keep me at that time

[00:41:37] so I knew the game I know how it worked and then eventually I moved from JP over to

[00:41:41] Deutsche Bank and the same thing there I just kept moving up but I was able to do that because of my

[00:41:48] intellect and because of my work but I always knew that my attitude and the fact that I'm not

[00:41:56] willing to compromise who I was was going to put a cap on how high I can continue to move up

[00:42:03] and I remember having an argument with my manager one day and he says to me you're

[00:42:08] really intelligent you you do really good work you're a great manager but you're too blunt you

[00:42:14] speak your mind all the time and that's going to get you in trouble and I remember before I left

[00:42:19] Deutsche Bank to go to Capital One he said to me you know if you want to keep moving up you got

[00:42:25] to change who you are and I remember I looked at him and I said that's not gonna happen

[00:42:31] and I appreciate you telling me that but that's not going to happen I am always going to be

[00:42:37] who I am and I'm not willing to compromise my integrity and my character for a title

[00:42:45] and for more money that's never gonna happen and I realized that for me I had way more gifts than

[00:42:52] working in corporate America and making money now I'm wasting what I have up here from an

[00:42:58] intellectual standpoint and I just knew that that wasn't the right way for me to go so

[00:43:04] I just wanted to bring that up because it just relates to what you were saying too that

[00:43:08] you're not just trying to make as much money as possible and screw other people and not try to

[00:43:14] make a difference it's like come on man like we work in these places and these corporations

[00:43:18] and businesses because they're all businesses they make money and we just make money for

[00:43:23] the shareholders like that's just what it is and I'm tired of that I'm tired of putting

[00:43:27] money in other people's pockets and there's a ton of corruption that occurs in corporate America

[00:43:33] same thing with the police force people are just corrupt yo and the more money some people make

[00:43:38] the more they can get away with and the greedier they become and gotta love capitalism right

[00:43:46] Wondrous and I never felt comfortable receiving monetary gain something that I didn't like doing

[00:43:54] or that I know wasn't 100% legit that doesn't work for me and so even when I went into business

[00:44:00] I went into business with a solid product a solid service that I knew was beneficial and if it

[00:44:08] wasn't bad I'm not gonna sell it I'm not gonna promote it I'm not gonna represent it as something

[00:44:14] that is not I just can't do it man and for me personal integrity is everything absolutely and

[00:44:21] guess what I've been successful financially pretty pretty well you know my family and I

[00:44:27] were pretty well off man but taking that approach I'm still blessed man you know and so I can sell

[00:44:35] someone you can do things the right way and still be rewarded monetarily there's nothing

[00:44:41] wrong with making money but I have to be comfortable with how I'm doing it and know that I'm

[00:44:46] providing a valuable service or valuable product I have to know that and if I'm not doing that

[00:44:53] can't I can't take it you know what I mean I'll give you your money because I've had issues where

[00:44:58] people like oh your product isn't so you know what I will refund your money and this has been a lot

[00:45:04] of money like no if you're not happy I don't want you to walk away unhappy because I forget

[00:45:11] there was a gentleman who said he said I don't want your business I want your trust and if

[00:45:18] if me getting your business means you don't trust me you don't feel good about the exchange that's not

[00:45:24] what I'm looking for you know I mean and I'm like wow that's powerful because guess what at the end of

[00:45:29] the day when a person walks away if they don't feel good about an exchange you don't have a repeat

[00:45:35] customer anyway and guess what if someone asked them about you know I didn't have a good

[00:45:41] experience his product wasn't what I thought and I had to well I didn't get my money back

[00:45:46] I don't want to walk away with someone having to be able to say that about me agreed well all this

[00:45:52] guy treated me like this when he locked me up I bought guys sodas potato chips pizza

[00:45:58] got arrested for criminal stuff it's all good and I had to fight with you to get your cuffs

[00:46:05] but now it's over yo you want something to drink oh it's not yeah man actually yeah yeah

[00:46:12] and I'll get it because it's not personal man we just did a business transaction you're in jail now

[00:46:18] I'm not mad at you man you don't want to go I get that but you had to come with me so however

[00:46:24] we got to here I'm not mad and for me that made it easier for me was lost like okay now the door

[00:46:31] is cool he's not giving me more problems in jail he's not making a rocket so this and that because now

[00:46:37] just me showing him that I'm treating you like a human it's making the rest of the interaction go

[00:46:43] more smoothly and for the next guy that might transport him somewhere else and I've had dudes

[00:46:49] come back you're great got from them a hip hop group it was a sub affiliate of wultane

[00:46:56] sons of man he comes in with all these CDs and promontane you're great show me love man

[00:47:02] swimming ball drop this at the preset yeah nah nah man you show love man appreciate it on the boat

[00:47:09] this is what he did I'm not looking for that now I just want to have a positive interaction

[00:47:15] we can make a negative situation a little bit better by treating each other with respect

[00:47:20] right and that's that's all it is yeah but yeah I'll have to I have to know that I'm doing things

[00:47:27] with integrity purpose and everyone is going to have a positive outcome no absolutely absolutely

[00:47:35] so now I want to pivot over to your family I know you have two sons and my question to you is

[00:47:41] what is the message that you have for them and let's say years down the road when you look at

[00:47:45] them what will make you proud as a father very good question once again excellent question and it's not

[00:47:52] about whatever career they're in how much money they have I want them to be happy with themselves

[00:47:59] proud of who they are and I want them to be able to walk through the world with confidence in who

[00:48:05] they are and I want them to have no intimidation of anyone outside of them knowing that they

[00:48:12] can compete with anybody in this world and that they can stand on their own two feet and they can

[00:48:18] they can take care of themselves and if they choose to have a family they can take care of

[00:48:23] their families and at the same time treat people with honesty integrity respect they're doing that

[00:48:31] 10 to 15 years I don't care what venue it is it'd be garbage man it could be an engineer I don't

[00:48:37] care it doesn't matter they have that type of character and integrity and dignity and pride within

[00:48:44] themselves my man that's what I'm looking for so that's dope that's dope I mean that's that's

[00:48:51] everything that I talk about on my podcast on a daily basis I mean about loving yourself

[00:48:57] knowing who you are establishing that foundation and basically believing your mark on this earth

[00:49:04] before you die you know like that's what I'm that's what I'm big on and I look at you when I look

[00:49:10] at your life and the service that you've given to people in general it's a blessing and it's

[00:49:16] humbling it's very humbling when you have the people come back to you and talk to you and say

[00:49:20] oh you know what great like you help me out man like I appreciate that that's dope yeah it really

[00:49:26] is man and when I'm doing this I'm not doing it for the reasons of getting anything in return

[00:49:32] because I don't care about that but when you do get that that in return when you do have people

[00:49:36] have conversations with you and tell you yo when you said this to me like that really helped me

[00:49:41] it makes you feel good it makes you feel great I always say that if you're able to have one person

[00:49:46] then that's enough then that's enough man like it's worth it if you're able to have one person

[00:49:51] out of millions it's worth it yo yeah because that one person could change their life and

[00:49:58] be influence influence yo I can't even enunciate right now that one person can be influential to many

[00:50:05] others hundreds thousands millions you never know it's about like I spoke about earlier the next

[00:50:11] generation and building a foundation for that generation and then they build the foundation

[00:50:17] then it's the next generation the next generation the next generation that's that's what it's

[00:50:20] about man yeah as I gain more wisdom just from life experience and study self-examination

[00:50:28] life of examine like your podcast you know I realize that man everybody pretty much we all want the

[00:50:34] same thing in life right the people who are in their right mind who are saying we all want the

[00:50:39] same things we want you know life liberty freedom it's what we want right and so I'm starting

[00:50:45] less and less to see people in the world as separate individuals I met a lady in my current

[00:50:54] position that I'm in now she's she lived in New York for a good amount of years but she's from

[00:51:00] I think Afghanistan some Middle Eastern country I can't remember but I'm talking to her and she's

[00:51:05] like she has a daughter who's doing some great things at college studying microbiology or something

[00:51:13] and she has a son about to go to college so we talk it and I'm realizing like she's from another

[00:51:19] side of the world but she has two children I have two children all our goals and values are

[00:51:25] exactly the same what we want for our children what we want for our families you know we look at

[00:51:30] ourselves as individuals but to me I think the human race we really are all one and I think

[00:51:36] the trick of these masterminds is to really keep everyone thinking that we are separate and divided

[00:51:43] and that we we have to be worried about each other

[00:51:47] defensive towards each other and that's how they continue to rule us so you know what I mean so

[00:51:53] once we realize man we all stand as one and I'm not talking about any race religion I'm

[00:51:58] talking about everybody we all want the same thing in life ultimately right so that's

[00:52:03] the way I kind of look at things more and the more you get down to the essence of what a person is

[00:52:09] it's all different from you no I agree with that and I'm very big on what you just said

[00:52:14] a lot of what goes on in the world the interferences the social media tv politics

[00:52:22] left right republican democrat all of that stuff is just made to divide us exactly that's

[00:52:29] what it's about and then there's those that are like the one percent and who are controlling

[00:52:33] everything like they want to just keep us at odds because they know the power of what you just said

[00:52:38] and it all makes me think about this movie called they live John carpenter produced it

[00:52:43] and Roddy Roddy Piper is and it the the wrestler from back in the day the acting is not that

[00:52:48] great but the message is and there's these glasses that he finds and when he puts the glasses on

[00:52:55] he sees the world for what it really is he sees the one percent the people who control the world

[00:53:00] the wealthy and they're really aliens and then when he looks outside and he looks at the buildings

[00:53:06] you see signs like obey watch television buy conform yield consume stay asleep work I mean

[00:53:16] you get the gist of it but that really is how this world is and that movie was always dope

[00:53:21] to me and every few years I watch it and there's so much imagery and meaning behind it because it all

[00:53:28] relates to our everyday life and us just going through the motions and continuing to bicker with

[00:53:34] each other and not building with each other not loving one another and building a strong force

[00:53:39] together we're a big community but we don't live like a big community we live trying to

[00:53:46] compete with each other wanting to fight with each other you know what i'm saying trying to

[00:53:50] outdo this person right you know what i mean we're programmed to be destructive we're programmed to

[00:53:56] not love ourselves and it's sad but it's our job to become independent thinkers and deep program

[00:54:01] ourselves come together as one and overcome all of those interferences the work that i'm doing

[00:54:07] and the work that a lot of other people are doing that's the hope you know what i mean like

[00:54:11] it's not just me there's a things of people that do the stuff that i'm doing right but

[00:54:15] there's hope there and i just try to be a part of a solution and not just a person that complains and

[00:54:21] you know just sits back and says oh this world is so terrible and oh and this is not these people

[00:54:25] are doing that it's like all right so if you think that then do something about it but if

[00:54:29] you don't want to do something about it that's cool that's not your role you don't want to play

[00:54:32] that all good but for me and those who wants to do something i'm about solutions not just

[00:54:39] complainant yeah no man michael jackson man he said it best one of the greatest musical artist

[00:54:46] of all time he said you want to make the world a better place take a look at mirror and make a

[00:54:52] change and if everybody takes that approach it's over man in the mirror reflection it's funny how

[00:54:59] that works yeah we have we have created how to know in herds man if we do that and he said it

[00:55:04] you got to start with the man in the mirror the woman in the mirror the baby in the mirror

[00:55:10] you got to start with that if you can't start there then you have nothing to say

[00:55:15] so and that's the key to it all man you know my man car rest the great car is one he's like

[00:55:21] all these people i'm so is so i'm this i'm that but it's all just wha wha wha

[00:55:27] yeah you know so it's like you're thinking you're this you're that but we all want in the same

[00:55:34] and so we realize that now we'll be or constantly be underruled by people who don't like us so care

[00:55:41] about us and want to actually be populators honestly you know so that's the thing man so

[00:55:50] i've i've been blessed man to be able to surround myself more so with like-minded people that

[00:55:55] understand these things and that about family about community i love wearing that and it's just

[00:56:02] God's blessings man not for sure man and you know it's all about being around like-minded individuals

[00:56:08] that's that's how you grow that's how you become motivated that's how you get to a place where

[00:56:13] you can continue to you know do the things that you may not be able to do when you have

[00:56:18] somebody that's keeping you down in this negative energy a lot of us just don't understand the

[00:56:23] power of negativity and positivity right when you're around negativity a lot you could be the

[00:56:30] strongest person in the world i promise you that it is going to affect you absolutely one way or

[00:56:37] another the negativity is gonna get you it's gonna catch you yeah you know what i'm saying like the

[00:56:42] rhythm is going on getcha but what i'm saying is like that negativity is gonna get you like

[00:56:47] it's real and we really have to start moving in a way i don't want to say militant but

[00:56:54] moving in more of a way that has purpose and that has meaning because a lot of us are not doing

[00:56:59] that we're not doing that so i definitely agree with what you were saying when it comes to being

[00:57:03] around like-minded individuals for sure so now we're almost at the finish line and i always

[00:57:08] like to end the episodes with my guests giving their closing remarks and then i close it out

[00:57:13] so mr gray share your final thoughts i just want to say madden closing that this again once again is

[00:57:21] a great honor a great blessing and opportunity for you sharing the platform for me to just

[00:57:29] share my story and i just i can't tell you how how great i think it is what you're doing

[00:57:37] because this is very much needed especially in this day and time so i just want you to understand

[00:57:44] how much i'm supporting how much i pray for success in your project man and i just wanted to have

[00:57:52] the maximum impact to the to the exponential extent that it can because i know what you're

[00:57:59] doing is powerful know that impact is actually having on me because listening to your your

[00:58:06] podcast and your subject matters has got me to reflect on things and take a different approach

[00:58:11] in how i handle my day-to-day situations that's dope so it doesn't matter how old or young you are

[00:58:17] man this is going to have a positive impact if you pay attention and really do a self-analysis

[00:58:25] sorry self-analysis based on what you what you're dropping here so i'll just congratulate

[00:58:32] you man and i just wish you unlimited infinite success what your doorman is i know it's going to

[00:58:38] have a very tremendous impact on on the world so continue man continue continue continue

[00:58:46] nah thank you i really appreciate that i'm humbled by your words and it's not easy

[00:58:53] doing all this stuff now it's easy being who i am right it's easy to to talk and put my

[00:58:59] message out there my words that's easy but everything that goes into this process like it's

[00:59:04] not that easy and and me getting laid off a few months ago and people looking at me and saying

[00:59:11] oh are you okay everything good and i'm like you know i'm fine that was a kick in the behind

[00:59:15] that i needed to get to this place to do this and i could have easily gotten another job in

[00:59:20] corporate america and made even more money easily with my skill set and my experience but

[00:59:28] i had the balls to say nah i ain't doing corporate america anymore i'm investing in myself i'm taking

[00:59:34] the chance with myself and that's not easy to do there's a lot of barriers that we put in our

[00:59:39] minds and we're scared because there's uncertainty there you work in corporate america and you're

[00:59:44] making good money that's consistent although like in my example and many other people you can get

[00:59:49] laid off easily because we don't own that business they could do whatever they want but like i said

[00:59:55] i'm investing in myself and i'm not wasting my gifts anymore so my message to those who are listening

[01:00:01] if you have any passions anything that you love any gifts don't waste them take a chance on yourself

[01:00:09] and i know that that's easier said than done believe me i understand it i've been through a

[01:00:13] lot of crap over the last decade and i have so many reasons to just say nah i don't care i'm not

[01:00:20] doing this i think that i have a voice i think that i have thoughts that people could benefit from

[01:00:26] but nah i'm not doing it because it's too difficult and i don't know what's gonna happen i have

[01:00:32] responsibilities believe me i get it i got bills too i got a mortgage i got all of that please

[01:00:37] believe i have all of that regardless if you have a nine to five if you're a business owner

[01:00:43] if you have a passion or something that you love all i'm saying is don't ever lose sight of

[01:00:48] that hold on to that for dear life and through all the loss that i've had i realize that i have no idea

[01:00:55] how long i have left on this earth and i guarantee you that before i die my family my friends even

[01:01:02] people that may not even know me like that they're gonna remember my voice they're gonna remember

[01:01:07] my thoughts and that's a fact i don't care if it's one person two people four five six seven

[01:01:13] eight nine ten seriously though whatever happens to me during my journey successful unsuccessful

[01:01:20] i live with that and i love that and to be completely honest with you i'll never be unsuccessful

[01:01:26] because success is subjective and success to me means that i'm putting my message out there

[01:01:32] and i'm trying to help the world that's success to me don't mean i gotta make a ton of money

[01:01:37] it on nah because that was never my foundation that was never why i was doing this you know

[01:01:42] what i mean i'm gonna be good regardless so that's what i'm leaving y'all with today once again

[01:01:48] brian i appreciate your words your thoughts your wisdom your knowledge your experience

[01:01:55] and i thank you for sharing your story on my platform and i don't know about all of y'all

[01:02:01] but keeping it 100 and being true to yourself and not compromising who you are well that's

[01:02:08] another definition of a life that's worth living i'm your host j smooth and you just

[01:02:15] listen to the life unexamined is not worth living and we ought to hear peace